The Little Things are the Cards in the Poker Game of Life… How to Avoid Strangling Your Mate
by Coleen Sykora

"I just overlook a lot of the little things. In the long run, what do they matter?"

Wise words; I wish they were mine. Instead, the credit goes to my husband of nearly twenty-five years. They were his comment when I told him I was writing an article about how we manage not to get on each other's nerves even though working on the road means we live in a camping trailer, share a business, and often don't know another sole in town.

After he said that, I replied that he was better at it (overlooking little things) than I was. He agreed with me. Then, without missing a beat, he deadpanned, "It is good to agree with your mate. There, that's another thing."

See what's going on?

We work together. I told him what project I was working on. I asked for his help. He gave it by telling me what he does (as opposed to what I should do). I complimented him. I acknowledged that I am not perfect. He added humor, diffusing what could have been an awkward moment. At the same time, he gave me more help.

He then left to go to a class he is taking. The class is about safe boating and seamanship. The only boat we own is a small inflatable. He took this same class several years ago and passed it with flying colors. So, why is he taking it again? He enjoys it. It gets him out of the house. It gets him out of the house without me. It puts him in contact with other people interested in boating.

During the two and a half hours he was gone, I had the house to myself -- all 192 square feet of it. I pulled a box of accumulated paperwork out of the back of the closet and sorted. Piles to file, a stack to shred, and a bag full for the garbage. I dealt with it, without interruption, without the piles and pieces being in anyone's way. When he returned, the job was done and the house was back to normal.

He returned with a package. We sat at the table, eating those ice cream sandwiches and recapping the day. It was a small, and much appreciated, token of his love.

The little things in a relationship are the cards in a poker game. You need to know when to hold them, and when to fold 'em.

" Overlook things that don't matter
" Ask for help when you need it
" Be supportive
" Laugh together
" Work together toward common goals
" Use "I" statements instead of "You should" statements
" Compliment each other
" Admit to your short-comings
" Pursue individual interests
" Take time for yourself
" Make the most of alone time
" Celebrate your time together
" Pat attention to the little things that do matter

© Coleen Sykora 2005

©2002 Coleen Sykora

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About the author: Coleen Sykora is the editor of Workers On Wheels with her husband, Bob Nilles. This is their eighth year of full-time Rving. Together, they combine work and travel. Coleen's magazine, WOW also has articles written by other working RVers, employers who hire mobile workers, and resource people knowledgeable in the lifestyle. Any questions and comments are always welcome, e-mail Coleen at moms@workersonwheels.com and check out her website and magazine, Workers On Wheels