Feature Article

I Found My Voice!
by Sharon McMillin

As a former Critical Care Nurse and now, mom to four teenagers, I guess you might say I am a seasoned caregiver. I enjoyed my career as a nurse and there are times when I miss it immensely. My greatest career choice however has been that of MOM. Let me start out by saying that I have been a SAHM for many years then became a WAHM after my divorce 5 years ago. In a society that tends to value monetary and promotional accomplishments, as a long time SAHM/WAHM, my accomplishments are not as readily seen. However, hopefully as my children go out into the world my accomplishments will be seen through their lives, as they touch the lives of those they come in contact with. I have been honored to have the "not always revered" position of "Stay at Home Mom" and only hope that I have served the position well.

Having said that let me give you a little glimpse of what I feel has been the biggest obstacle in my life in general. I feel that looking back on my life I have accomplished a good deal but… I have what I feel, at times, has been a major stumbling block for me both professionally and personally. That has been my inability to just open my mouth and speak my mind. I am polite, I am quiet, and I prefer to not be the "center of attention" so to speak. However, I found many years ago my vehicle for speaking my dreams, my heartaches, my prayers and experiences. I have continued this through my Journal writings for some thirty plus years. I have now chosen to publicly use some of what I have written privately to hopefully get a message out and help others going through similar struggles. It is my desire to focus on the children, who many times do not understand the things that are happening around them. With that in mind I have written and just published the first of several books dealing with some things that have influenced our lives and quite possibly the lives of others.

For the past two years I have been working on getting a book that I have written; illustrated and published. At the same time as the breakup of my marriage, my father was dying from complications brought about by his long battle with Alzheimer's. He did not have what, I many times hear referred to as, "old-timers disease". My father had the type of Alzheimer's referred to as "early onset". His journey into Alzheimer's began in his early fifties. It started very subtlety like a thief in the night, slowly stealing his memories, then slowly his health. He actually worked until the age of 58 when he retired because he could no longer function. One of the hardest days for me, was the day he could no longer remember who I was. He actually thought I was my mother for a while, as he must have remembered her as she was at my age. This was the time that I feel my father, as I knew him really died. Then, too soon he didn't even recognize my mother. This, for me, as odd as it may seem to some, made it a little easier to help take care of his personal needs. Even though I was a nurse, I found it very hard to bathe and care for my own father. He then in his early sixties had a series of small strokes leaving him eventually blind and he died at the age of 66 in his bed, in my parent's home. He actually died of pneumonia, a complication from the effects of the Alzheimer's. My mother cared for him the entire time at home and only accepted help from Hospice, in the last year. This is indeed, the real story of a caregiver. It was my mother's wish that I in some way, through my writing, communicate the isolation and misunderstandings of this devastating illness. My first book came about from my Journal writings about my father's early journey into Alzheimer's and the relationship he had with his grandchildren. This has been a labor of love dedicated not only to my father but also to my mother, who defended, protected and lovingly cared for him until his death. The book due out this month hopefully will offer some childlike understanding to all generations who have been touched by this disease.

My daughter has inspired my next book about a young girls struggle with Dyslexia. I have watched her bravely battle dyslexia and severe learning disabilities along with some physical conditions. Many adults would have crumbled under the pressure, but she has gracefully endured and humbled those that have touched shoulders with her. I am also putting together a book of essays, poems, thoughts, etc.from others who have cared or simply loved someone with Alzheimer's. Since I have written my first book I have found that everybody has a story. I would like to also offer them a voice. There is so much more to my story and I could write and write and write…., get the picture? Of course, I love to write, but I will save that for another time.

Spiderweb's Corner is my site where I am promoting my new book and others in the works. Also on the site is information about home-business resources that have allowed me to be able to be home and pursue my writings. I have started compiling links to other sites that also deal with these issues. It is my hope to build the site to include books, articles and other items that relate to these and other issues especially as they relate to children. The site has not officially been launched but it is my hope to announce it's official opening later this month.

About the Author: Sharon Webb McMillin is a native of Kentucky where she lives with her four children. She is also the daughter of "Papaw" about whom the book is written. "Allysimer's" developed from her journal writings about her personal experiences with her father and his early journey into Alzheimer's. Contact the Author at momto4@excelonline.com Visit her website at Spider Web.

Here are some Alzheimers resources:

About Alzheimer: Info and caregiver tips:
http://www.alz-nca.org/aboutalz

Alzheimer Disease Information:
http://www.alzstl.org/informat.html

Alzheimer Assoc.: Lots of info:
http://www.alz.org/

Offers penpal type of support:
http://alzheimers.com/index.shtml

A place to do a little research American Journal of Alzheimer
http://www.alzheimersjournal.com/pn02000.html

And For the Caregiver: Kate's Place: Dynamic Help
http://home.att.net/~katesdrm/

The National Family of Caregivers
http://www.nfcacares.org/

Support for Caregivers:
http://www.caregiver.org/online_support_group.html

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